


Cap'n-napping

by Octotrooper



Category: Splatoon, Splatoon 2
Genre: Banter, Gen, Hero Mode, Kidnapping, Monologue, Squidnapping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 00:40:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21290852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Octotrooper/pseuds/Octotrooper
Summary: DJ Octavio acting like himself.Takes place during the first game's Hero Mode.
Relationships: None
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Cap'n-napping

“Gyuh huh. How d’you like your new duds?”

Old man Cap’n Cuttlefish struggled against his bindings. How could he let this happen? He’d been keeping a vigilant eye over the city for close to a century, making sure that the enemy never touched a single black combat boot to the surface world. And then, in a moment that seemed far too brief, _that damned octopus _was there, coiling his tentacles around the Cap’n’s frail limbs and maneuvering a set of sturdy ropes around his body.

“You’re s’posed to be dead,” the Cap’n spat.

“Am I? Guess I’m bad at followin’ rules,” DJ Octavio said.

“Explains a lot,” the Cap’n said. “A whole century passes and yer still bratty as a schoolsquid.”

“Least I ain’t a dried-out husk, _old man,_” Octavio shot back. The Cap’n was pleased to hear a note of frustration in the octopus DJ’s voice.

“Old?” Cap’n Cuttlefish continued. “Might want to take a look in the mirror yourself one day, _grandpa.” _

“Wha—! You—!” Octavio sputtered. “Shut yo’ mouth!”

“What’s the matter, bucko?” Cap’n Cuttlefish smirked. “Can’t take the heat?”

Octavio paused, eyes wide and full of rage. Then, he threw his head back and began to laugh. It was a wild laugh, loud, unbridled, and cockier than anything.

“GYA HA HA! Can’t take the heat? _Can’t take the heat!? _Do you know who I am!?” He crawled towards the Cap’n with a wicked grin in his glowing green eyes. “I _am _the heat! I’m fire! I’m a flavor so spicy an’ smooth that you can’t forget me no matter how badly ya wanna!” He stopped inches away from the Cap’n’s face and lowered his brow. “Ya know what they call an octopus this hot!?”

“Takowasa,” the Cap’n finished.

“Tha’s riiiiiight,” Octavio said, wrapping several arms around the Cap’n and dragging him towards a nearby kettle. “Very good! You’re learnin’!”

Cap’n Cuttlefish wriggled back and forth, attempting to squirm out of Octavio’s grip.

“Oh, you thought I was just gonna let you stay up here?” Octavio asked. “Nah. Nice as the sky is, I gotta show off the squid I just hooked to _someone._”

Octavio and the Cap’n dropped down into the kettle, bodies becoming loose ink droplets as they jetted through the pipes towards the world of the Underground. The pair re-formed in the middle of a sprawling Octarian city. The DJ’s appearance didn’t go unnoticed for more than eight seconds. Cap’n Cuttlefish gulped as dozens of pairs of rolling green eyes headed towards him.

“Face the music, old man,” Octavio hissed just loudly enough for the Cap’n to hear. “Soon the world’ll be bumpin’ to a different kinda beat: _ours!_”


End file.
